i'm getting better in nothing , except for faking smiles .

i tried , i swear , i did . 

i tried to be happy , be the happy-go-lucky boy i used to be . 

i tried to be as optimistic as Betty is but i failed . 

i'm not scary . i'm just good at faking smiles . 

i think i'll start liking the world again after all the people decided to be themselves instead . maybe that's one of the reason why i'm so ready to do if the world really ends on the 21st May .

thanks for tolerating me , mum . Happy Mother's Day . Love ya . 

i don't like shouting or ignoring but i'm always too stressed up or tired . that is why i'm so lazy to reply and repeat . & i guess you hate me a lot now , worst son ever , aye ? sometimes , a little freedom , care just a little bit less , would be great . care less in the sense that you don't have to ask me to study all the time , cause imma a big boy now , i know how to handle my time properly .

i don't usually fake smiles at home because i get so tired of doing it the whole time in school . that is why i release everything out at home .

i'm more emotional this year because everything is falling apart . too much politics for a teenager .

i'll try one more time . i'll try real hard this time . I'LL TRY TO BE HAPPY FROM THE CORE OF MY HEART .

one more thing , 

DON'T GO MAKING PEOPLE TO PAY FOR YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY . 

i don't think i'll ever love you again but i'll try to accept you .