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2012-01-26T23:31:00.001+08:00

IMMA CHINEZZ!

2012-01-23T13:55:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year, peeps!

Let the DRAGON bring you on an amazing&interesting flight.

Every year is a good year.

2012-01-21T18:51:00.001+08:00

I'm starting to have a feeling that all the anonymous's comments posted are by my sister.

Konnichiwa. I'm back from Nihon. Yea, it's been a looooooooooong time since i blogged and my very faithful reader, Krytal is asking for more.

Things had been going really well. I'm back in Adil and all the getting-sad-about-streaming is of nothing. Sometimes i really wonder if it's really God that's helping me all the time or it's just a coincidence. For example, I prayed the year before to be in Adil and i got to be in that class; I prayed last year to be in Adil and i'm in again. But anyway, this year my last year in high school, my senior year and it's up to me to make everything right. My laziness is kicking in again and that it's one of the things to get rid in order to make everything right.

So this is my New Year's Resolution post which is supposed to be done last year. I'm supposed to wrap everything up and conclude my year2011. 2011 had been nothing but ups and downs, happy and sad moments. I had tons of first time. I lost faith and i gained back. I stopped believing then i continued to trust. Regrets, i have tons of them. I regretted most of the things i didn't do rather than the ones that i did.

This was me.

So lets all stop being emotional and pessimistic. Raise your head up, smile and don't look back.

First time, well most of the first times are happy, there are also those that are sad. What it matters is the experience that you get, the memories that will stay in your mind.

First times :

Doing intense dance practices.
Performing in front of billions.
Crying because of the things I've kept inside.
Getting the last place in class for more than once in a year.
Being 3076miles away from home alone.
Being depressed/rebellious.
Competing in an inter-class drama competition.
Screwing up my Malay Oral big time.
Taking public a bus home.
Celebrating New Years Eve alone.
Going on amusement park rides alone.
Getting a post in the Prefectorial Board.
Getting a high post in LEO Board.
Embrace my graphic designing talent.
Seeing snow.

Yes, there are still plenty of first times but i can't really remember. And here's some of the regrets that i have to list out.

Regrets :

Not joining Samad Got Talent.
Not taking my studies seriously.

There's probably still other regrets but that's all i can remember for now. Here are the things that i want to do/be this year :

Promises :

Stepping out of my comfort zone.
Be a better listener.
Design a perfect school magazine.
Get plenty of A's for my SPM.
Learn to play football.
Think before i say.
Be bolder.
Be more sociable.

There's still plenty of things that i want to do/be and i really can't think of anything now. My brain is not functioning properly. But i think that this is just a tradition i made for my blog and for others to see. It doesn't matter what I'm doing but as long as i'm answerable to myself then it's fine.

Have a great 2012year. &HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

I'M GONNA ROCK THIS YEAR !

things we learn along the way { #1 }

2011-12-08T14:28:00.001+08:00

didn't know that my little cousin brother likes camwhoring.

Keep calm and dance.

2011-12-07T10:59:00.001+08:00

Lots of things have been going on lately. You really don't know how much i want to blog now.

Insomnia.
Everything i think about insomnia, i think of Owl City. Bet you didn't know, the song Fireflies by Owl City was written based on Owl City's insomnia. I've been rolling on my bed longer than usual. Don't know why, i just can't sleep. I've lost count how many times i ask my mind to SHUT UP just so i can sleep. There's so many things running through my mind, they kept me awake the whole night and i hate them a lot.

Tinker.
Spent days and nights fixing the phone. Tutorials and reviews that are on the internet are just a big fat liars. Nothing i did fix my phone. Just days before i'm leaving, that have to happen. I haven't played the Sims 3 for days because of that phone.

Exercise.
I feel all unhealthy. I'm doing real bad things to my hands, my eyes, my shoulder, my neck and my backbones. I feel like there's really a need for exercise but i'm just too lazy. Can't help it, i'm just having too much fun indoor. I need someone to teach me to play football&basketball. I need to toughen myself up during this holiday and avoid anymore embarrassment. Guess it's just gonna be plain talk.

Study.
I thought i was going to learn Japanese for an hour every night and at least do some revision so i would be better next year but it seems like i'm PLAIN TALKING again. I'm dead meat, seriously. All i know is very basic Japanese, shitzel!

MakingPeace.
Two of my friends had been fighting each other. One of them did apologize and the other just can't help being a female dog. I don't understand her at all, she's just being very unreasonable. I tried talking some sense into her but it seems like she has got no brain to take in all the senses. I really shouldn't shitzel talk her but really, she's just being a female dog. She's making a fuss out of nothing. The most childish thing, i've ever seen in my entire life. She blocked everyone who offended her a little. Yes, you can block people in facebook but not in real life. Of course, she did not block. I'm such good friend. I'm only saying this cause i think she is being completely unreasonable.

Flying.
Yes, i'm going to fly in a week time. I'm really not as excited as i look like but rather fear. Really, i'm scare. Yes, it's not a big matter not like i'm not going to come back, right? Furthermore, i'm just going to be there for like 3 weeks. But first time going on an aeroplane alone, being threethousandsthreehundredandfour miles away from home. I mean, i can you not have a little fear, right? Nothing's ready yet, not my clothes, not my souvenirs, not my speech, not my phone, not my Japanese and definitely not me!

Resolution.
I'm not sure whether i'm going to conclude my whole year and make a list for my new year resolution this year or not. Cause i'm not gonna be here and not sure if i can find time to do it there or not. Maybe i'll do it before i go or maybe i'll do it there or maybe i'll do it when i come back. Who knows. But i'm hell yeah going to do it.

"People have new friends, not because they've change but rather is they've found who their true friends are."

"There's no such thing as hate, only fear. You never hate a person but rather you fear the person."

really inspiring, saw them somewhere don't remember where.

P.S : Meng Yee, thanks for cheering me up in your comment for the last post. I'm really fine, it's okay.

there's no need to cheer me up.

2011-11-23T22:35:00.001+08:00

Sometimes goodbye is not a choice. Goodbye is always hard but there's always something good in goodbyes. The word Goodbye actually meant god be with ye.

" What we can't do is live our life and always afraid of the next goodbyes, because chances are they are not going to stop. The truth is to recognize a goodbye can be a good thing when there's a chance to start again. "

-Betty Suarez, Ugly Betty

My day started off with a bad news, again. Checked my results, did badly. I felt a push at the back when i saw my result, a push that pushes me back into reality. I did try, i tried harder than i've ever tried. I sacrifice my bedtimes but still ... I'm starting to lose faith, starting to give up. I'm not mad if they were to put me into another class. I tried but just not hard enough, i guess. You deserve what you worked for. It won't be fair if i was given another chance to go back to the class. I once had the chance and i didn't make full use of it, now it's time for other people who had worked hard for it to go to that class.

Urghh, i've forgotten what i wanted to say. There's so many things in my mind now. Every things is entangled to one and another, stucked, blocked. DEVASTATED.

Somehow, i've learnt that accepting reality is part of life. Somehow, i've got used to saying "Goodbye".

Maybe i'll edit this post when i remember.

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead ;

2011-11-19T20:42:00.001+08:00

Adele - Some Like You

I want to be inspired so badly right now. I don't know why, i'm not sad or whatever. ~~Seriously~~Honestly, I've got nothing to talk about now. I've been thinking bout acing all my exams next year these few days. I've always wanted to get good grades but i'm always too lazy to work for it. For an example, one of my new year's resolution is to get at least 4 A's in every exam but i failed, really bad. I just want to get straight ace for once, for SPM.

I had a conversation between both of my juniors, Emmanuel and Razman, yesterday. I learned a lot during our conversation and had some really deep thoughts. For once, i denied having a blog. I felt ashamed. I asked them, "Do i look like a sad kid to you?" and they replied, "no". Well, I've played the game very well. No one realised, no one noticed, no one found out. I denied having a blog was probably because i didn't want them to know that I'm actually sad ~~all the time~~most of time. Not like I'm still sad now. I'm proud to say that I'm a SELF-DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION PATIENT, not exactly self-diagnosed, with some help of my friends, if i had to say.

Really, I don't want to turn this blog into a sad blog or whatsoever. Urghh, i really don't want this blog to be known as boring or any negative things. I don't want this blog to be judged. Most of all, I don't want people to judge me by this blog, seriously, really.

I had been dying to share this photo but I forgot where i've seen it before. &look i've found it again!

Really, love with who you are and do what you love. Never mind if people judge you cause they don't know a thing about you. Contradictions.

blog nicely, boy, blog nicely. (write good and neat post that's what i meant)

Joe Brooks - Holes Inside

2011-11-16T16:21:00.001+08:00

"Who is this Joe Brooks guy? I don't like him and his stupid accent", i told Amanda.

Guess what, he proofed me wrong. He is good. Listen to his song which i have embed above.

If you hold tight, shadows will be lost in the light.

Cause sometimes fate and your dreams will collide.

So don't walk away from me.

desperate for changing ;

2011-11-15T17:24:00.001+08:00

Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment

sometimes being too judgmental is just too ... pessimistic.

Honestly, i hated prefect camp a lot, a lot at first. I hated how the choosing the roommates part made me felt so unwanted. I wanted to just ... stay at home but i'm not rich enough to waste the RM200. Then, it came the first day. It wasn't that bad, not until the futsal and dodge ball part. I let three goals in and the ball was just like five centimeters away from me. People were watching and someone were laughing. That moment i just wanted to go home so badly. I walked back to my room all alone. On the way, i heard my juniors saying, "Jia Sheng, sucks!". I then shouted back, "I can hear you know!". I literally want to cry so badly, really, i swear to god. Then, it was dinner. I ate alone. Then, Rashdan popped out of nowhere and ate with me. He was like the light that has brighten up my day and the colours that painted my black and white world. Well, Amanda and Pavithra did the same too but Rashdan was there first. Sometimes, i really don't know how to thank Amanda. She is always so supportive, caring and always know just what to say. Thanks, Manda.

Then, we had this activity. We were life savers and we have to save these miserable people who were about to die. We can only choose to save three persons. I was amazed by how great my brain functioned. That activity just took my self-esteem to a whole new level. Then, we sort of debated. I too took part in the "debate". I was so proud when i made someone speechless and the whole crowd went cheering for me. It's like the first time that it had ever happened too me. Well, not exactly the first but, you know, it has been awhile. My self-esteem just reached the maximum level. When it came to the room part, my roommates were better than i expected. They were nice and all.

The next day, I grew to love my team more than ever. We had so much fun together and we were so united. We made a song in less than 5 minutes. This is whole the song goes :

" We are the spartans, my friend.
And we'll fight till forever.
We'll kill all the evils.
Lastly,
We'll strive for the best and
strike down the rest. "

That was the lamest song i've ever heard but what matters was we did it together. Our group produced some very fine work at the very last minute. I did not really want to leave the group actually.

The next day, it was terrible for the management part but still the group part was awesome. The management part was so terrible until i don't feel like bringing it up and it had so much miscommunication. Our group got the Best Overall Award. We only deserve it for 50% but we all agreed that it was actually just a consolation prize for us. Then, we have to go home. I didn't want to leave the group. The best group anyone can ask for.

Oh ya, if not because of this group, i wouldn't know what amazing thing some of the group members can do. Razman was really amazing. One more thing, Jesseline was really obsessed with bomba and mother&son.

Moral of this experience, never be too judgmental.

P.S : i did not take any photos . :(

it's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

2011-11-09T19:47:00.002+08:00

"When you try your best but you don't succeed" -Coldplay, Fix You

So, i guess, this is goodbye. I wanted to name this post as " Official Goodbye " but it won't be official until the list comes out. I'm quite sure that this would be goodbye. Yesterday, my day started off with a bad news.

Amanda said, "Jia Sheng, Mr. Elvin just told me that there will be streaming next year."
"Oh really? It's okay.", i replied.

It's actually not okay at all cause I did quite badly in my exams and now, I'm certain that I will be leaving. Can't blame anyone, though, it was I who did not study hard enough. I've never achieved anything in life. Just when I think that I've finally achieved something, the world has to take it away from me. I thought for the first time I can be proud of myself, be proud of the guy who looks like me in the yearbook but apparently, no. I thought one day, I could show people my yearbook, point at myself and tell them, " Hey, look at this guy. He was nothing, he had only got two A's in his UPSR. But in his last two years of school, he got into the best class and was in the prefectorial BOD. ". I think all this will just remain as dream. Truth be told I'm leaving.

Well, I don't want to get all emotional. Almost all my readers know that I had been very depressed at the beginning of the year. Lately, I did not even mention the word "depress" in my post. I wouldn't have healed that fast if not because of some of the very supportive friends I have. Also, not until I learnt to be open-minded and tell people what I'm actually keeping inside. I also must thank them for tolerating me and not find me annoying when I repeat the same thing over and over again. Thanks for being such a good listener and for knowing what to say whenever i feel down.

After I leave, I don't think I would be as motivated to study as I am now. Things won't be the same. Class will never be as fun as it is now. I won't have good memories that involve the whole class anymore. No one will force me to face my problem instead of running away from it anymore.

Guess what, I used to be afraid to talk to Sean, Ikhwan, Sean and the gang cause I was afraid. The most I would say was "Hello.". I always thought that they are some popular kids and I'm just one of the "not so cool" kids. After knowing them for a year, I found out that they were not so bad to mix with. But I'm still actually afraid to mix with them.

My class has lots of students, extraordinary students. They are basically all caring, friendly, fun to be with, supportive and united. I really don't want to leave this class. I don't want this amazing memories to end so fast. Next year would be my senior year and I don't want it to be disastrous. I want it to be as wonderful as this year. I don't want anyone to forget me and i don't want to forget anyone, especially the memories that we had together.

"LONG LIVE ALL THE MOUNTAINS WE'VE MOVED

LONG LIVE ALL THE MAGIC WE'VE MADE

I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE FIGHTING DRAGONS WITH YOU

LONG LONG LIVE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE"

-Taylor Swift, Long Live

Long Live all the memories we had. This is the BEST CLASS anyone can ask for .

Tell me, where can you find a teacher who invites all her students to her wedding.

Tell me, where can you find a classmate that leaves all his things in school and don't bother.

Tell me, where can you find a friend that bothers to reteach you when your teacher teaches you the wrong thing.

Tell me, where can you find the smartest kid with so much feelings.

Tell me, where can you find the smartest kid who make the whole class emotional just by posting 2 comments.

Tell me, where can you find a friend who knows how to kill the sad moments by asking you to pay her .

no doubt, it is the BEST !

Look what Jason did to us all, sad.

I'm sorry, I don't think i can do it.

PLEASE, PLEASE. DON'T LET THESE MEMORIES END. DON'T LET IT END SO FAST.

TELL ME, WHERE CAN YOU FIND A CLASS LIKE THIS.

P.S : Thanks Jia Yong for being the class's photographer, the memory keeper.

it's okay if you hate me because i have better things to do than pleasing you.

2011-11-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

memory keeper

not very motivated to blog these days . cause i don't have a picture that i have took or with my face in it to share and partly is because of the humongous header . every time i look at it , i just lost my interest to blog .

so , EXAMS ARE OVER ! YAY !

not that happy actually . the results might kill . i have been bugging my mum to buy me a new phone . after thinking for awhile , i don't think that there is any reason for me to buy , beside the occasional power off , lack of memory space and a poor camera . the reason i want it is to have a camera that is good enough for me to snap beautiful pictures whenever i want and have enough memory to download games so as to kill my boredom . that's all . ciao .

i spread my wings and i learn how to fly ;

2011-10-26T15:17:00.002+08:00

Yes , i know. The last layout was hideous . and this one is not too good either . too big , i guess . but at least , it's better . black is definitely not my colour. sooo , my header says "ineffable" which meant too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words . urghhh , i still think the header is too big .

not like you care but for your information , i'm still having exams . and now i'm having a week holidays for deepavali festival or a study break we may say . but somehow i feel like exam is already over . i don't have the urge to study anymore . ):

yea , and i srewed up most of my exams . what's the point for staying up late to study or waking up early to study , after all doing that i still did badly . that's the price of burning midnight oil , i guess .

push me off the cliff, please.

2011-09-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

No one knows that i'm sad .

No one knows that i'm depress .

No one knows that i cried on Monday because of stress .

and i felt like a cissy for doing that .

No one ever understand my feelings .

No one knows that i need to talk to someone badly .

No one knows that i've got no one to talk to .

there are people who i can talk with but the topic is too personal ;

there are people who i can talk to about personal stuff but she is just going to think that i'm wrong .

No one understands Syafiq's feeling better than i do .

because i know exactly how he feels .

No one knows why i want to be a psychiatrist .

No one knows that there's a thousand , billion things inside of me .

No one knows when my smiles are true and when they are real .

No one ever gives me a hug when i need them badly .

No one knows i never learn not to sigh .

No one knows i feel like dying at times .

No one knows i lie a lot .

i lie about how i'm fine , how i'm happy with my life and ...

No one knows that sometimes i need time to myself badly .

No one knows how i hate being alone .

NO ONE EVER KNOWS ME .

you're killing me now and i won't be denied by you ;

2011-09-25T19:58:00.005+08:00

Neon Trees - Animal

Sometimes i picture myself walking alone in a big field , full of grass. Walking barefooted , feeling the warmness of the earth .

i feel like i'm gonna break down anytime . stressed out and i've got no peeps to talk to , don't know how to express . i'm depress more often these days , i feel like crying most of the time but i can't . i hope there's a pill for crying and i will take it to ease the pain inside me . i'm very frustrated with myself too . i read and read even until i finish the whole book but still nothing get into my head . i can't afford to fail another exam anymore . there's actually quite a few people that i envy a lot , one of them is actually my aunt . she has so many problems but she is still always smiling when i see her , she gets angry and sad and after that she will just laugh at her own misery and just move on , such an optimist she is . i can actually relate my relationship with my kaikua'ana with my tortoises . my bigger tortoise is very mad at my smaller tortoise for not running away with him . but he doesn't know that it is not because the smaller tortoise doesn't want to run away with him but it is because he can't get out of the pond . now they are swimming separately , one will go left and the other one will go right . my relationship with my kaikua'ana is almost the same , we talk so much lesser nowadays . i don't know why but i've been picturing my kaikua'ana running away with my kaikua'ana's keiki one day and leave us all behind .

okay , that's enough of being a pessimist . i've been managing my time quite well these days , not good but better than before . i've been studying more often now . i'm amazed by how outgoing i've became . making good decisions , in a way , and taking chances . i'm not gonna use the computer that often until exam is over . yes , i've forgot to mention , another embarrassing moment in school .

Note to self :

2011-09-16T17:59:00.002+08:00

andai hari esok , langit akan runtuh;

2011-09-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

Adira Af8 - Ku Ada Kamu

i sure do have some real ~~boobs~~friends.

nope, not dramatic, no hypocrite, definitely ain't having multiple personality disorder.
i hate not having anything to think about. cause when i don't have anything to think about, depression takes the chance to sneak into my brain and locks everything into a cage. depression shuts my thoughts away from me. it takes over my brain. it makes me think, think and think, about bad things, about sad things. it turns me into an instant pessimist. depression trains me to fake smiles and hold back my tears. it makes me want to cry but i know i can't cause everyone would be watching.

but the optimist inside of me also tried real hard to break free from the cage. it tried and tried and finally it succeeded. it fought with depression and in the end it won the battle. unfortunately, the optimist inside of me has a really soft heart. it did not lock depression up. and now, depression can come back anytime. i'm so scare, i don't want to be depressed, i don't want to be sad, i don't want to be a weirdo. please, depression, please, leave me alone, please!

2011-08-28T16:08:00.001+08:00

through despair and hope , through faith and love ;

2011-08-20T23:39:00.001+08:00

Lion King - Circle of Life

but the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky , keeps great and small on the endless round ;

STUPID DEPRESSION IS BACK !

STUPID TORTOISE ! )':

too sad to blog now , continuing tomorrow .

kay, bye . i'm going to cry myself to sleep now .

there's a fire starting in my heart ;

2011-07-24T20:05:00.001+08:00

ADELE , idol yang baru saya tetapi Taylor Swift masih pertama.

my pictures-with-words are getting nicer. *perasaan*

arrow !

2011-07-16T13:42:00.002+08:00

_____________

| |

This week has been a very productive week .

finished READING chemistry , chapter 6 .

understand add maths , chapter 8 .

never slack during chinese class .

walked home from school .

going for cultural night .

maintained my post .

walked to tuition .

witnessed a fire .

A WINNER,

i am.

busy , or just lazy .

2011-07-14T19:30:00.001+08:00

let's just let the picture do the talking .

yeah , exchangee coming next week . (: doing dancing again . things went well and still going well .

every summer has a story .

2011-07-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

i hate it .

all of us need anger management .

all of us need to learn to tolerate .

all of us need respect in each other .

all of us have to stop thinking what we have contribute

&instead think what others have given us .

all of us should learn to forgive .

all of us have to be an optimist .

.. don't get mad just because someone did not catch you when you're falling .

cause you are very sure that it was all just a misunderstanding though you know it hurts so bad inside because the person shake your hands away instead .

lets just have ...

okay?

you lost the love i loved the most ;

2011-06-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

i think i should really start forgiving people . or else my HATE LIST will be full in no time .

i want to blog/say something but i don't know how to write it out in words . no , i want to blog/say something but i don't know what i want to blog/say . complicated .

going back to school in like about one and a half more day . it's hard to admit that part of me actually miss school . i went and visited my babysitter the other day . she looked better than before . was glad to see that she's so good now . " Perfect " by P!nk actually made you feel a lot better , after singing it , i had forgotten what i was getting sad about .

i like travelling with my family . it's like being a little boy again . cause when i was young i go everywhere with my whole family .

People always want to bring you down . but you know what ? just say " #!$% YOU " to them .

i want to write more . i want to express myself more . but it's really difficult to put them all in words .

The sleepy feeling everytime after you cried.

2011-06-06T22:26:00.001+08:00

The car honked. The sound of the car honk reminds me of you. I thought to myself, thank god it was Jia Yi and not him. When i got onto the car, just to find out that it was him and not Jia Yi. It was that guy whom i hate the most.

posted from Bloggeroid

never miss a chance to dance .

2011-06-06T16:28:00.000+08:00

i take branch instead of lunch&breakfast nowadays .

Aim of the holidays :

Do a History essay everyday . [ failed ]
~~Finish reading It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini~~ [ done ]

a very awesome book .

From the novel ,

i've found out that what i had gone through and still going through is depression .

Joshua is also going through depression but his is more severe .

"Regrets are an excuse for people who have failed."

"you have to be the prude or the slut, and if you pick one, other people hate you for it, and you can’t trust anyone anymore, because they’re all after the same thing, and you see that you can never go back to how was before…"

"See, when you mess something up, you learn for the next time. It's when people compliment you that you're in trouble. That means they expect you to keep it up."

"I don't owe people anything, and I don't have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to."

"Life's not about feeling better, it's about getting the job done."

"People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and ready to explode."

"Who hasn't thought about killing themselves as a kid? How can you grow up in this world and not think about it? It's an option taken by a lot of sucessful people: Ernest Hemingway, Socrates, Jesus. "

" ... it would be good to have a reset switch, like on the video games, to start again and see if you could go a different way. "

- from the novel -

how great he is , he get to find something out to scold me even when i didn't even talk the whole day . - a very good example of finding faults .

warm sun , wind in my ear ;

2011-06-05T13:45:00.001+08:00

Plain White T's - Rhythm of ♥ [love]

People stop reading my blog . but why do i still blog ?

because i blog for myself and not for other people .
so trolololol . if you don't like my blog or just me , you can always choose not to read . (:

Brand New Me .

2011-05-30T17:09:00.000+08:00

i know . i always make AWESOME collages .

Citrawarna went super duper great but too bad for you i'm just too lazy to post the whole thing . that is why i have shared a youtube video in this post . a video speaks for all . my group is the third or fourth group , i'm the one in red with pompom [ i know there was so many people in red and holding pompoms but you don't have to know which one is me anyway ] . if you had caught me on Facebook . you would have probably know how it was like . postponeddelayeduglycostumes . longhourstraining was fun . seeing the faces of everyone getting their new clothes was nice . eating chicken everyday was extraordinary , i'm lucky enough to get drumstick all the time . seeing a friend broke a record in eating ice-cream was funny , she ate 6 ice-creams in 3 days . i finally understood the chinese sayings " one minutes on stage is the work of 10 years of training " . we all miss CITRAWARNA very much .

i went Sunway Lagoon yesterday . the last time i went there was when i was about standard 3 , i think . not much changes though . i finally got to play all the water rides . my cousins do not believed that it was my first time playing those water rides . i also got sunburn for the first time . i can add both of that things to my this year's First Time List .

it was also my cousin sister's birthday yesterday . so HAPPY BIRTHDAY again , xuen .

got myself a new layout and changed something in my blog . looked a bit hideous but what the hell . i'm a brand new me , so forget the old annoying pessimist me .

i'm getting better in nothing , except for faking smiles .

2011-05-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

i tried , i swear , i did .

i tried to be happy , be the happy-go-lucky boy i used to be .

i tried to be as optimistic as Betty is but i failed .

i'm not scary . i'm just good at faking smiles .

i think i'll start liking the world again after all the people decided to be themselves instead . maybe that's one of the reason why i'm so ready to do if the world really ends on the 21st May .

thanks for tolerating me , mum . Happy Mother's Day . Love ya .

i don't like shouting or ignoring but i'm always too stressed up or tired . that is why i'm so lazy to reply and repeat . & i guess you hate me a lot now , worst son ever , aye ? sometimes , a little freedom , care just a little bit less , would be great . care less in the sense that you don't have to ask me to study all the time , cause imma a big boy now , i know how to handle my time properly .

i don't usually fake smiles at home because i get so tired of doing it the whole time in school . that is why i release everything out at home .

i'm more emotional this year because everything is falling apart . too much politics for a teenager .

i'll try one more time . i'll try real hard this time . I'LL TRY TO BE HAPPY FROM THE CORE OF MY HEART .

one more thing ,

DON'T GO MAKING PEOPLE TO PAY FOR YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY .

i don't think i'll ever love you again but i'll try to accept you .

open your mind .

2011-05-03T18:58:00.000+08:00

pimple on my tummy .

People takes away the things that you don't treasure and gives it to someone who treasures it much more than you .

i do the same too .

i hate people who be nice to you in front of your face ,

and talks bad about you behind your back .

to infinity and beyond ;

2011-05-01T21:47:00.001+08:00

for an instance today ,

i exhaled sadness

and inhaled happiness .
and it felt good .

letting chances slipped out of my hand over and over again .

last friday , a really good chance came knocking on my door , again . it was a really good one and i realized that i cannot afford to let another chance to slip out of my hand so i took it . it was indeed a good one . my big chance to turn over . to stop all the underestimatings that i'm going through .

i think i'm getting better . life's too short to go getting sad 'bout it .

my photography skill is getting better TOO . as well as my making-pictures-with-words skill .

STUDY , BOY , STUDY ! EXAMCITRAWARNADANCESTEPSLEOPREFECT.

never thought that i would get a position

in scouts . PL , woot woot .

a song that can finally relate me .

2011-04-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss knowing it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty please!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

YOU'RE PERFECT to me.

you would find me singing this song all the time .

this is so true . exactly , how i feel .

especially , highlighted ones .

green , comforting myself .

Demons are what that make the hell a terrible place to be.

2011-04-24T14:48:00.001+08:00

Everytime when I'm starting to think that the hell is becoming a heaven, they will come and spoil my fantasy. As if they just wanted me to accept the fact that hell will always remains as hell.

Noone is ever in my shoes. They know my name but not my feelings. Sometimes i even think that no one have the rights to judge me. They, i meant that particular person, are always out somewhere having fun and they never know what is happening or how i felt like. I am always there for them when they are feeling down or what so ever but no one is there for me when I'm feeling down.

Yesterday, while i was dutying, i suddenly felt so sad. I felt like i have no one to share my feelings with. That particular person will always think that i am wrong and my friends will never understand. I am always left in a place that i am unable to shine.

Then i suddenly thought, I'm still so young, so many years left to live, what a sad thing to know.

posted from Bloggeroid

一枝笔的故事。

2011-04-20T21:17:00.001+08:00

我真的不明白他们。如果不好用，怎么能做到好的功课呢?只能让我觉得非常的生气。过后我就会没有心情做功课了。

posted from Bloggeroid

baby , we're gonna rock this house down .

2011-04-18T15:54:00.000+08:00

CITRAWARNA !

we ,we , we so excited . we so excited .

forget about flash-mob . we've decided to stop wasting our time in it cause we've got no news from our president whether we're gonna go or not . so we took it as a NO ! focus on citrawarna focus on citrawarna focus on citrawarna . imma getting allowance , certificate from the tourism minister and the experience of my lifetime . what else can i ask for ? the only sad thing is , we now have practice every single day and during exams , our training will be until 12 p.m . i can't believe i'm saying this , but EFF exam for just this one time .

i want to be the kid who can manage well in both co-curricular activities and academics . and my classmates know my too well , way too well . they knew that every time i said i want to start studying but i never did it . and this time i wanna prove them wrong .

tomorrow is my first practice . sooooooooo excited . WE , WE , WE SO EXCITED . - extracted from the song Friday by Rebecca Black's lyrics .

The theme for citrawarna is SPORT , btw . we're gonna do cartwheel .

2011-04-16T16:54:00.002+08:00

How funny every time i change my layout , i will still eventually come back to this one .

The first step is always the hardest but the result is always the sweetest.

2011-04-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

Will : " I thought you hates Christmas . "

Sue : " No , I just hates you. "

so many things happened this week . happy.sad.shocked.angry.tired.excited.proud , all sorts of things happened . such a dramatic week isn't it ?

well , i'm so proud of myself for being so mature . i consoled my friend in such a mature way . i told that friend : " you're not the only one who have to go through this thing . so many people like you have to go through this. you're lucky you don't have to face it alone . and not much people get over it but normally the people who got over it they became more successful than anyone in life because they learnt that life are tough and they became stronger , stronger than anyone else . " My friend then replied , " I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL . " and today that friend was bright and shine . well , i'm not going to take all the credit because many other people actually helped that friend too but i think that friend got over so fast was partly because of me .*wink wink*

and had my first experience organizing a LEO project . everything was planned in a rush but it went well too . i've to thank all the committee and members for making this project an OKAY one and a big thanks to May Yee , she helped out a lot . *as if i've received an award or something , psssh* Most people rated my project as moderate but some of them said it's fine too but a moderate is just fine because look , this is my first project , no seniors came along , Lion Ben did not turn up , no guidance and i still made it happened . so , isn't a moderate more than enough already ? and like what i always say , " The first step is always the hardest but the result is always the sweetest. "

i think i should start writing my Journal again . there's still a lot to tell but i'm so tired now and couldn't think of any other anymore . so that's all .

我们不要输给风.

我们不要输给雨.

我们不要输给心痛.

japan, be strong.

i like blogging. it enchance my writing skills.

we laugh and cry 'bout the silliest thing .

2011-03-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

BETTY is such an optimist .

she inspired me a lot .

it is really two different things . you might not know it because you are not in my shoe , i guess . the thing which most scientists neglect to invent is mind reader . if mind reader was invented , i would buy you one . i would give it to you whenever i have something to tell which is really difficult to tell it through mouth . i would want you to read my mind .

i would get so sad sometimes . every time i feel like i need a pair of ears to here my sorrows , i would remember what we always do when we were young . every time either of us starts to tear , we will sit side by side looking at the floor , put a hand on the other's back and tell the tearing one " everything will be alright " . and now , every time i need someone to comfort me , you would be out somewhere having fun . i would have to go through all the thing by myself . didn't you notice that i've been posting quite a lot of posts about you or how bad my days were because that was the thing that i thought of you and really need someone to be with me .

blog is the only place where i really can let everything out . i always feel better after posting stuff .

you may say i'm weak but i'm strong enough to always put a smile on my face right after that .

Life is nothing without ups and downs .

because ups and downs is the ones that make your life bittersweet .

and i've always believed that tomorrow will be better .

we just have to let go the past sometimes .

or else we would be in misery .

oh ya , don't call me " dear " please . seriously .

not that i don't appreciate it . i just feel weird being called " dear " .

i'm too afraid to face the society . they are like fire . they can be so helpful this minute and the next minute they will set up a date for you with the grim reaper .

2011-03-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

i was like " Oh my god , i'm back to hell. " when i got back .

camp was great , well , most of it is . i'm so glad i went to camp because i got to take a break from all the yelling in hell . i've never hated this place sooo much . that is why i do so little talking nowadays and replied in a i-don't-feel-like-talking tone . i wanna RUNAWAY .

YOU HAVE TURNED MY TEENAGE LIFE UPSIDE DOWN .

you made me want to runaway . you made me want to lock myself in the room every day .

now i know what you felt and that was why you never came back ;

i'm gonna do that too .

i've never want to name this place as hell , i swear , but that is the only way i can feel better .

hell is empty and all the devils are here .

2011-03-05T22:48:00.000+08:00

YES ! I have won the battle once more .

i've learned to live with it and just get along

i don't do too much talking these days .

2011-02-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

You left me waiting for two hours and forty-five minutes , which is nearly to three hours , in a lonely room with a phone that is running low on battery and a growling stomach .

we've got both light and dark inside of us .

2011-02-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

i'm so sorry for you .

i'm LUCKY i'm in love with my best friend ;

i'm not in love with my best friend actually .

i feel grateful today .

friends who actually stood up for me . seriously , it ain't that bad . i don't think the other gang would do that for me . they will just berdiam di sana je , no offence . anyway , not that i'm ungrateful but i am not exactly sensitive to the word , " stupid " . well , i'm learning to fight my own battle . next time let me try and back me up if i fail . anyway , special thanks to N.Hwang and K.Cheong . you guys are sort of the best thing that ever been mine . seriously , nicole , terima kasih banyak-banyak .

SERIOUSLY . THANKS A LOT . IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE , THERE WERE ONLY TWO TIMES PEOPLE STOOD UP FOR ME . YOU GUYS ARE THE SECOND TIME .

i'm not being cissy , okay . it's just that i am now figuring how i want my life to be . and this is the part when you get so weak and need someone to share your thoughts and all . this happens to everyone . you usually get weak when you have come to this part of your life . and no worries , after you figured out everything , you would be stronger than anyone . believe me , you will need to find a friend to let out your thoughts .

i first find ariff but he left , then i didn't exactly told krystal everything but she was the one who notices me when nobody does. so she knows how i am exactly feeling so i chose her . HAHA . it's okay if you didn't know , krystal .

YOU KNOW WHAT ?! I WANTED TO SAY THIS TO YOUR FACE , " I DON'T KNOW WHY WE GOT THE SAME RESULT AND I GOT INTO BETTER CLASS THAN YOU , MAYBE BECAUSE I'M TAKING ONE EXTRA SUBJECT , THATS WHY . AND IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH IT , FEEL FREE TO LODGE A COMPLAINT . I REALLY DON'T MIND GOING TO BAKTI AND LETTING YOU GO ADIL IF THAT MAKES YOU ANY HAPPIER . " but because we have to work together that's why i keep it to myself . if you accidentally read this then maybe it's just faith . FAITH wants you to read it so you can make a reflection about yourself .

it's okay if you don't understand what i'm talking about .

how's life , i'm busier than ever ;

2011-02-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

Taylor Swift - Back To December

i seriously need sleep . i can really fall asleep when i'm in the lab .

I'M STRESSED OUT !

that's the answer .

i just don't show it in front of my family because i am always like the no-worries guy in the house .

when i'm in school , i would get so worry until i jump up and down .

writing blog actually improves my english.

i'm gonna do it more often.

forget about the price tag ;

2011-02-19T22:23:00.001+08:00

Jessie J - Price Tag

i've always thought that the achievement i've made is actually something really great . i was a 2 A's student , a student who had studied in the last class before , then he made it to the second class and all the hard works earned him 6 A's and now he is in the first class . what a big achievement , isn't it ? but , seriously , it's NOT . this is just a very very small achievement when i step out to the real world . the real world is something that is incompatible with what i'm living in now . sometimes , i wonder will i even make it out there , will i even get a job . and sometimes i think to myself , what if my resume is really short , not even a page . i'm trying very hard to be active in all my co-curriculum activities , take part in different competitions . but i don't know why , i always pull back last minute . my fears always win the battle . and i get demotivated so easily . and look at me , i will be leaving high school in a year or two and i am still uncertain about what career i should choose . interior designer ? nope , i'm not very creative . chef ? nope , i don't want to work on weekends too . lawyer ? i don't think i can memories all the laws and have the guts to speak in court . baker ? maybe but not something that i really want to be in life .

oh well , high school is only ending in a year or two . i still have a year or two to think about it .

now , just live my secondary school life to the MAXIMUM .

apart of me is so happy for you ,

apart of me is so jealous 'bout you .

made a wrong turn once or twice ;

2011-02-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

P!nk - Perfect

today , i learnt that life is all about taking chances because chances don't come knocking on your door all the time . and chances is something that is now or never .

oral today . i don't know why i'm even afraid and nervous . i've ~~never~~ been afraid to speak in front of the class . i don't know . i think i should really stop thinking what others think about me .

my SCHOOL LIFE is so much better . i think i'm loving it . you know why it's getting better ? because i've learnt to celebrate and live my life .

sometimes i cry so hard from pleading ;

2011-02-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

My Chemical Romance - I Don't Love You

Ahhhhhhhhhh ! I can die already !

TEST in less than a month .

SPONSORSHIP for leo futsal competition.

PROJECT ORPHANAGE preparation.

PROPOSAL this , PROPOSAL that .

ADD MATHS , number one murderer .

BIOLOGY , no idea what that teacher is teaching .

feel like drinking BEER more than SPRITE now .

at least , something good happened today .

My principal made me feel like a SUPER SPY , hahahah . yaaaah rightt .

i gotta feeling that FLASH MOD is gonna be fuuuun .

and LEO MEETING , i consider it a success .

i'm gonna fail my test and i hope my parents understand .

2011-02-15T12:51:00.000+08:00

i've decided to live with this quote , " when someone treats you bad , treat them good instead . "

i figured out that it will actually work because the person will somehow feels guilty or something and they'll be good to you .

I'm so afraid . my secondary school life will be ending in a year or two . and when i leave , everything will be very though . i'm not ready to face the society . and after college , i will spend 30 years of mine working . just imagine , working for the rest of your life , in a way .

and you feel like flying ;

2011-02-14T22:48:00.001+08:00

when life gives you lemon, squeeze the lemon juice into others eyes .

i feel so offended . who are you to comment me ? i think i've been through a lot more than you . you should respect me , instead . you are just making yourself a b*tch . you are lucky i decided to FORGIVE AND FORGET you .

{other thing}
the minute i decided to report you , i knew that you are going to hate me . what i'm trying to tell is , never get regret about the decisions you made , instead , think of ways to face it .

SCHOOL LIFE , BETTER ; SOCIAL LIFE , NOT THAT GOOD .

i hate politics . politics make people hates you .

2011-02-14T19:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY , PEOPLE !

like every other valentines day, spent it alone.

<3 single life .

59 more posts to 200 posts , babeh .

i'm just wanna live while i'm alive ;

2011-02-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

Kar Yean : “你很想拍拖啊？为什么整天在Facebook写什么我已不是小孩那些东西？”

Jia Sheng : “咳哟，哪些是歌词啦。”

I'm not that desperate la . I won't desperate until go write on facebook one .

Orang , i dah dapat a new layout . i don't know why la . i think like all the layouts doesn't suit me . anyway , i think i will stick to this for quite awhile . but i'm still uncertain with the blog title so i will keep changing until i feel that it is suitable . i did a major clean up for my blog today . i cleared some widgets and unused links . i deleted the "fights climate change" widgets and deleted about 10 links .the links that i had deleted are blogs which had been removed . and i also updated some of the links .

STREEEESSSSS !

(please let me write this out . don't talk bad about me or scold . just this once , please . it is too torturing to keep it to myself .)

i really don't know how they do it . they can have fun whole day and yet manage to finish their homeworks . homeworks are though . finding friends are tough . competitions are tough . practically , everything is though there .

life had been so bad being in that class . not a single day that i had actually laugh through the whole day . people are so mean there . no offence guys . " Don't sing , it's gonna rain . " " Don't talk , your saliva is showering us . " " Eff off la . " " Please go away , you shouldn't be here . " " This is not for you to listen . " , you get those all the time being in that class . Okay la , i know la , sometimes i sing too much and you all will get annoyed la . and yah la , i sometimes kinda spit when i talk la . those are excusable . but guys , seriously , if i don't join you all when i'm bored then where should i go ? you guys are my only friends there , for your information . i acted like i didn't mind when you guys asked me to stop singing , stop talking , go away but i seriously do mind .

sometimes i don't even dare to laugh hard . i'm so afraid that people will think that i'm just being dramatic or trying to be funny . i tried to make myself as flawless as could be so people won't talk bad about , think bad about me . this is just so not me . i tried living by the saying " live your life and ignore what they say " , i did try and i failed . i just can't do it , i don't know why .

although we had PMR last year , life was a lot more fun . i know i'm being too judgmental , i'm judging this year life before this year has actually ended . so to make it clear , my this two month life SUCKS .

Terima Kasih banyak for allowing me to do this . if Ariff is still here , i wouldn't do this . i would just tell him everything .

ANYWAY , LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE COMPLAINING ABOUT .

so this will be my first and last time to write things about this .

NEW NICKNAME , FIRST SHENG SHENG NOW BHENG BHENG .

tumblr rocks!

girlfriend's music video by avril lavinge is funny.

my english is getting worse.

Pictures Speak :

in a blink of an eye .

2011-02-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

today is the first day of the lunar year . AHAHAH . GONG XI FA CAI , peeps . so i'm actually 17 now in the lunar year , makes me think of the movie " 17 again " . AHAHAHAH . Laugh more it's good for your body .

actually i just wanted to drop by to wish everyone a

" HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR . GONG XI FA CAI , HONG PAO NA LAI . "

my new t-shirt.
INCREDIBLES.

tumblr is so addictive . &awesome

and all you're ever gonna be is mean ;

2011-01-30T11:31:00.000+08:00

people are so mean sometimes . they make you want to cry in front of everybody but you know you must hold back the tears because you know you can't show them that you are weak .

hairdrops.

2011-01-25T22:21:00.000+08:00

HECTIC MONTH . STRESS . PIMPLES ALL OVER .

CNY AROUND THE CORNER , HOUSE STILL IN A MESS .

GI-KA-POO .

2011-01-15T14:29:00.000+08:00

i used back my old template .

sometimes old thing is better .

2011-01-14T17:50:00.000+08:00

i went to the dentist today and took off my ~~vegetable-look-a-like~~ stitches .

my teeth weren't pain , just a little discomfort .

oh , and i bet my teeth was very dirty .

he asked me to keep my teeth clean .

i ate chicken before i go there , okay ?

krystal measured my lips today and it was a freaking 3cm , gosh !

average human lips just like 2cm .

1cm different is a lot .

so i searched google on " how to make thick lips thin " and look what i got .

it makes me smile cause you said it best ;

2011-01-09T17:14:00.000+08:00

guys , i'm still the same la . no arrogant or anything .

just that now we all in different class and i can't talk during duty .

that is why we didn't really talk .

i promise to say hi to you all every time i see you guys , okay ?

i wanna celebrate and live my life ;

2011-01-03T17:04:00.000+08:00

God Has Been Treating Me Very Good . (Y)

it's 2011 .

2011-01-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR , PEEPS !!!

Have a wonderful year !!!!

NYE . ☺

2010-12-31T18:33:00.000+08:00

booyah ! went to school today for duty . AWESOME .

oh ya , i don't like you la , pn. hamizan .

bunga mana ada lembik ?!

i'm gonna either find a new skin or a new header for my blog .

it's gonna be a NEW year , right ? so everything has to be new .

and soweeee for all the grammar mistakes and other mistakes in my last post .

too long la , that is why lots of mistakes .

lazy to correct them . (:

you guys gotta check this out . funny sial . true story .

kay , bye blog . i'll countdown with you later .

i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you ;

2010-12-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

2010 has been great but i'm looking forwards to 2011 .

i'm getting ready to fight all the battles in 2011 .

so this is what i had been doing the whole years . i really had the time of my life in the end of the year .

okayy , ermm , errr , i really spent my whole january to july doing all the leo stuff . (Y) and then i had my prefects installation in the middle of the years , i think . it was awesome , everyone was clapping and cheering for us . i can still remember what the headmistress said when she gave me the certificate . she said , " wah , prefects tahun ini sangat popular ar . Arrrr , macam ini bagus la " . i got installed as an official leo member and as an official " community service director " . i still feels bad for not doing my parts .

i could still remember . the day after leo installation was trial . urrrrghhh , i seriously didn't study for my trial . i got like no a's for my trial . so i got freaking worried and studied day and night after trial . i kind of like , started studying for PMR three weeks before PMR . how amazing that i can finish so many revision books in just three weeks . it is like my best record in my fifteen years life . all i did was do revision books .

and things didn't go as it should be on the first day of my PMR . i did well in all the subjects except for BM . I DID NOT FINISH MY SECTION C ( 40 marks ) . and then when i reached home , no mood to study ; when everyone gone out , turn on sad songs and tried to cry . my sis told me that i'm too stress so she made me go jogging with her . i felt better after that and told myself that , " this is just a small mistake and i have to stand back up to conquer the other exams " . and i did well for all the other subjects .

school is a lot more fun after PMR . we can do anything we want and teachers really don't care . and i went like freaking a lot of places in the school holidays . like : Guilin ( China ) , Singapore and some others ? i seriously don't remember already . heehee . i told my mum i shouldn't go so many places but cause i'm worried that i will get bad results for my PMR and after that i will feel guilty .

and one week before taking PMR results , i'm smart enough to make a deal with my mum first . i told her if i get 5 A's she will have to buy a new phone for me . and YES ! i got more than five , i got six . ( i got an A for my BM too ) it is the happiest day . it is like the best thing that can happen to me . i have never got so many A's . so i thank god for letting me get so many A's .

because i'm going to do braces , so i have to take out some teeth . i had a surgery to take out the teeth in my gum . i bleed for the whole day . so scary . and now the place is still kinda like bengkak . and i am so mad at my friends . they had never told me how nice is my teeth until i decided to do braces . and one day before the surgery , i freaked out . i thought they are going to pull out that teeth and everyone will be able to see me toothless because it is right in front of my mouth . but thank god again . i actually kind of prayed to god before the surgery . i told god that i hope the dentist will use the other way to take out my teeth so i wont lose any teeth that is visible .

and i went to ONE YOUUUU today . ;)

so i have many FIRST TIME this year :
first time become an official leo member
first time i plan an activity for leo
first time i wear prefect uniform
first time i sang and not afraid of what people think about me
first time getting so many A's
first time being so active in tumblr
first time people admire my pictureswithwords
first time sleeping alone in my own room
first time letting chi khay to come to my house
first time going out with friends

and yes , i do have regrets too :
regret not studying earlier (if i do i can get an A for sejarah)
regret deciding to make braces
and some more la .

ant here something that i really want to do next year :
join samadian idol (this year or next year)
study harder than before
get at least 3 - 4 A's in examination
learn self-control ( i don't think i need anger management )
TRY to get into A class
TRY to get a position in Prefect B.O.D
be more active in every single thing
be more outgoing
be more responsible
be braver
be tougher

In conclusion , i have won this year battles .

urggghh , mistake .

2010-12-24T16:05:00.000+08:00

still bleeding .

six comes after 20 .

2010-12-24T15:25:00.000+08:00

6 , BABE .

YESTERDAY WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY IN MY LIFE .

6 IS NOW OFFICIALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE NUMBER .

BUT 20 STILL COMES FIRST .

don't you ever grow up ;

2010-12-18T19:45:00.002+08:00

Don't you ever grow up , don't you ever grow up . Just stay this little ;

Goodbye seems to be the hardest word ;

This two lyrics seems to be the most suitable ones to describe my thoughts now .

I think I am seriously going to miss you for this three weeks
.
This three weeks is going to be like three years .

When you feel down or lonely , always remember that I will be there for you and always thinking about you .

airplanes like shooting stars ;

2010-12-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

oh gosh , 23rd december . AHHHHHHHH ! holidays had been good . birthday , ermmmmm . present , one .

23rd ; baddd ; PMR results day . i have always love the number 20 but not 23 . Gosssh .

i hope i won't fail my BM . if not , i will lose my chance to get a new phone and my chance to get into science stream . LET'S JUST HOPE FOR THE BEST AND PRAYYYY HARDD ! wish me luck if you are a human .

oh btw , screw whoever who deleted all the english tv series in PPS . i wanted to finish watching GLEE but nooooo ; i wanted to rewatch ugly betty but noooo ; i wanted to start watching ghost whisperer but nooooooo . i still got like four freaking episode to finish up GLEE and ugly betty is a veryy good tv series .

I THINK I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP STARTING FROM 21st NIGHT .

icouldreallyuseawishrightnow.

it's still in my freaking head !

2010-11-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

ugly betty . done watching . weird ending . nice tv series . very really truly amazing yet meaningful . don't mind watching it again . loves all the quotes .

here are some of the amazing quotes :

" Take a leap , don't be afraid to fall flat on your face " - Betty Suarez

" Life is not about making decision , it is about dealing with the decision you made " - Ignacio Suarez

" What we can't do is live our life and always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they are not going to stop . The truth is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing when there's a chance to start again " - Betty Suarez

when you're older , you're wiser .

2010-11-24T14:21:00.002+08:00

So , like everyone else said , " you're one year older . " and yes , i am . turning fifteen this year . and when you're fifteen , somebody tells you they love you , you gotta believe them . haha , it's just some Taylor Swifttt's lyrics . i really need to thank this people for making my year an amazing one . well , they are Jin Li , Wei Kee , Clarissa , Kum Chuan and Kee Zher . They are officially my besties . Somehow Kee Zher just get into my " good friend list " , i don't know why . maybe he told me the truth bout how he feels bout me and helped me when i needed his help . I still don't know Jin Li comes first or Wei Kee comes first , though . they are both so good to me . and yes , I AM NOW OFFICIALLY FIFTEEN AND I'M GONNA ENJOY THIS DAY .

THANKS FOR THE WISH IN FACEBOOK .

NUKMAN YOU ARE A VERY MEAN PERSON .

Hello Young Lady ,

2010-11-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

you are asking for a favor and a favor means it is not necessary that the person have to do it . so when a person rejected to do it , there is nothing for you to be angry at the person . but if you do get angry and threatens the person , i think you have slight bipolar disorder . oh , when it comes to threats , don't you get bored of threatening the person the same thing over and over again ? you see , i think that the person that you are threatening is getting really bored of the threat . no point , threatening him anymore . btw , in case you don't know , threatening a person is really rude , terrible , despicable , horrid , inexcusable , horrendous , dastardly and catastrophic . oh , btw , since you like remembering bad things that people had done to you , then i'm very sorry for you . your memories must be very dull . and please be a little friendlier and add a little more smiles to other people because all the person could see is frowns and all he can hear is shouts from you .

i did not mention who it is but if you feels guilty or thinks that i am talking about you ,

THEN YOU MUST BE THE ONE .

not trying to be rude , just wants to point out those terrible things bout you .

and of course , other than those you are PERFECT .

this one of my typo . i did this , true feelings . credits to google image for the picture .

seriously , this not rude cause anyone can teach you about life . in case you don't know , i once did something similar to someone closely - related to you and he replied back sorry .

love ,

a.very.thoughtful.boy.who.wants.to.recap.the.things.that.you.have.done

most recent .

2010-11-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

okay , blogger now have some of the latest and easier way to blog . now , you don't need to know ~~HTML~~ to ~~strike~~ your words , underline your words and highlight your words . you also do not need to click right click to undo or redo something . i'm going to show you the way to upgrade your blog .

First , you go to your dashboard . then click settings .

After that , it will direct you to basic settings . scroll down till the lowest part .

You then marked the box where i highlighted the words beside it . then click save settings .

and you're done . go to new post and see the difference .

am i out of my mind ;

2010-11-15T17:39:00.002+08:00

that long-lost-brother feeling is BACK !

i really hate this feeling .

i used to have that feeling for two years continuously then it stopped last year .

and now it is BACK .

sometimes i think that i'm a malay . weird .

came back from china . quite amazing .

you , you are getting a lot more cranky . the gap between us is bigger . you are driving a lot more recklessly this day . you taught me not to swear and do rude things with my hands . but you , yourself are doing it now . i kind of miss the old you .

catch up a lot with CLARISSA . she got what she wants . SHE WANTS TO BE ON THE COOL LIST . and now she is in my COOL LIST , i am not in my cool list just for your information . she has got tons of ANGMO friend now . so proud of her . i have always wanted ANGMO friends but i have none . i only have NATSUHO as my other-country friend .

i did some typography . jia yi still doesn't know what a typography is , go search the meaning in google now . i'm just reminding you what a typography is , there is nothing to be angry of . (in case you get angry) i think some of my typos are hideous so i am not going to upload them here . if you really want to see go to my tumblr to see , the two below was last time one . they're really hideous so just ignore the two .

you see , in china , i spent most of my time on the car . i used most of the time to think of my future . i will really be a bright future if i start working hard now , it's still not too late . i have came up with a " five years plan " . some of my plans are really ridiculous (in a good way) but i don't think my dad would let do those thing . i bet he will just say that i'm wasting time . but i think i should really try everything that i want to do while i'm still young . by the way , i got the inspiration to do this five years plan from UGLY BETTY . this TV series is really worth watching . Ugly Betty is not really that Ugly . jia yi , if you read this , keep it as a secret , okay ?

i can't wait till next year come . i have so many things that i need to do . it's gonna be a fresh new year for me .

" Take a leap , don't be afraid to fall flat on your face " - Betty Suarez

" Life is not about making decision , it is about dealing with the decision you made " - Ignacio Suarez

it's like catching the stars ;

2010-10-18T18:26:00.004+08:00

Okayy . Got over GOOGLE . Forgiven .

I want to learn keyboard , not the one that you use to type , it's an instrument ! I am suppose to start learning it , ermmm , like by NOW ! But i know it's gonna take me forever till my mum bring me to register . So yesterday , my mum asked me to learn some of the basics from my cousin , who is a piano expert .

So my tuition teacher's neighbour's son can play very well . He played the piano like every night . So everytime i go to tuition , i can hear the awesome piano . and he played Pyramid by Charice last wednesday , i think . and it was AWESOME .

and i'm going to tuition tonight too so let's wait and HEAR what awesome songs will he be playing tonight . okay , off to shower . CIAO !

search engine , yes . blog , yes . browser , no .

2010-10-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO GOOGLE .

GOOGLE CHROME WHICH IS UNDER GOOGLE CANNOT RUN BLOGGER , WHICH IS UNDER GOOGLE ALSO , WELL .

TERRIBLE !

NOW , I HAVE TO USE MOZILLA OR EXPLORER TO WRITE MY BLOG .

sparks fly like electricity ;

2010-10-17T23:00:00.008+08:00

Miranda Cosgrove as.known.as Carly sang an AWESOME song !
KISSING YOU .

Jenette McCurdy as.known.as Samantha sang an AWESOME song !
SO CLOSE .

So in conclusion , both iCarly main characters can sing well . HAHA . I think Jenette McCurdy can sing better .

Nag ! Nag ! Nag !

you just never take it seriously , do you ?

2010-10-15T16:32:00.006+08:00

DEAR BLOGGER ,

EFF YOU . CAN YOU JUST CATCH THAT IDIOTIC BUG ?

I CAN'T CHANGE MY EFFING FONT&COLOUR !

& NOW , GREAT I HAVE TO CHANGE THE WHOLE LAYOUT JUST TO TRY .

NOW I HAVE A HIDEOUS LOOKING LAYOUT .

LOVE ,

JIA SHENG

catch me when i'm falling .

2010-10-14T18:52:00.011+08:00

She's reallyyy TOUGH .
She can be reallyy NICE .
She will always LEND A HELPING HAND .

SHE'S ALAYTHIA !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY , YO !

god , please be good to me .

2010-10-12T16:13:00.004+08:00

i know you have always been good to me .

I want five , five is not a lot .

Photoshop How Thing .

if we ever meet again ;

2010-09-05T18:11:00.008+08:00

YEEESSS !! Finally got the photos from Jia Yi . (Y)

Jia Yi picked her up .

She reached on the twenty-first of september , around 8.15 p.m . She's an awesome Japanese girl . She's a girl that dream big , she wants to be a doctor . She is a really tall girl , as tall as my brother , shy , amusing and a very good cook . She is the very first youth exchange that my family had host . She is NATSUHO !

Jia Yi brought her for dinner when she just reached . Jia yi then called us and told us that she is on the way back . My mum then called all of us down to welcome her . It's hard to admit that i'm actually excited , really excited . I was so excited that I ran up more than 3 times to rush my brother down .

The next day , my brother brought her out for breakfast . He ordered a plate of nasi lemak for her . I don't know , my brother said that she can eat spicy foods . He said that normally Japanese can't eat too spicy food but she's an exception , she can eat really spicy food .

The God .

272 flights of steps .

Monkey .

Monkey poo .

View from the top of BATU CAVES .

Group Photo . (Y)

We brought her to BATU CAVES , that explained why i missed History tuition and Maths tuition . We climbed two hundred and seventy two flights of stairs . She's such a caring person . My mum said that her knees ache so she asked us to bring her up first , she will catch up later but half way up , she turned around and saw my mum was so far behind so she stopped and wait for my mum . ♥

Then Jia Yi brought her out and yiddi yadda ..

Then she went to her second host family . She got lots and tons of souvenirs from her second host family , i don't know that's what my sister told me .

Then she's back ! I was supposed to bring her to my school but her second host family had actually brought her to visit a secondary school in their place . It explained why i did not bring her to my school .

She did it !

My sister also brought her to the ROYAL SELANGOR . She made a bowl . She made herself , kay ? I'm so proud of her . (:

Family Photo .

Me & Her .

Then , on the seventeenth of august , i rushed back from TTC just to take picture with her . HEHE . Actually not just to take picture with her but also because i had already took the test and also i want to study for other subjects .

She went back on the eighteenth of august . ):

I pitied her , go back haven't even settle down then she have to sit for her exam . She has like , over ten subjects . So many , i don't know how she can excel in her exam . She is so smart . She also has to write a report bout her youth exchange to Malaysia .

I MISSED HER SO MUCH .

SHE HAS BROUGHT SO MUCH HAPPINESS INTO MY LIFE .

because it will never be the same ;

2010-08-22T21:59:00.008+08:00

I miss the day when we would never leave anyone alone ;

the day when we face problems together ;

the day when you make me meals in bed when i'm sick ;

the day when we will cheer each other up when we're sad ;

the day when i will buy you your favourite snacks ;

the day when we skate on the wet floor ;

the day when we do chores together ;

the day when we play ~~barbie dolls~~ & board games together ;

the day when we sing crazily in front of the monitor ;

the day when we would camwhore when we're bored ;

the day when you would stay at home and tutor me in my studies ;

the day when we would never complain how annoying we were .

... but it's not the same anymore .

♥

leave , leaving , left .

2010-08-18T18:18:00.006+08:00

she's leaving .

she left .

bye, natsuho . sayonara .

TAKE CARE , GIRL .

aku akan rindumu .

cause i like the way it hurts ;

2010-08-06T22:22:00.009+08:00

* GOT A NEW COMPUTER * (:

These two weeks had been a really busy weeks for me . I was actually happy because the thing that will be happening but in tuesday's night i went EMO . I didn't know why i was EMO but soon i found out , i was actually stressed . that is why i told my sister i didn't want to go to school . I will be promoted to a senior prefect ; then i will be undergoing installation for LEO , i'm a COMMUNITY SERVICE DIRECTOR *wink* .

I had actually improved a lot in this term exam . Trial exam is right after LEO Installation . In order to excel in my studies as well , i will start studying for trial tomorrow .

I had been or will be a :

treasurer
group leader
pizza delivery man
a senior prefect
an installed LEO
a COMMUNITY SERVICE DIRECTOR

I actually spent RM 326 in just a week for the uniforms .

next monday will be my last day of being a junior prefect ,

my last day wearing normal uniform and vest .

10 / 8 / 2010 - Prefects Installation

15 / 8 /2010 - LEO Installation

16 / 8 / 2010 - Trial Exam

... and NATSUHO is coming back today . (Y)

i bet you don't understand my post .

but seriously ,

it is very busy and stressful weeks for me .

foreigners as a visitors .

2010-07-25T19:01:00.002+08:00

NATSUHO MATSUDA !

you really makes my day less bored ?

it might be a bit tough and boring in the second home .

but you just have to live with it . (:

that's what life is , you can't have good things all the time .

we had fun in batu caves .

hopes the nasi lemak is not too spicy for you .

i have never felt so excited .

i think i had la .

batu caves post coming soon .

Hey boy ,

2010-06-19T23:10:00.003+08:00

You have played enough .

Your dad is doing what you wanted .

You have to start studying , boy .

i'mgonnamakethispoststayonthesepage

untilPMRisovertomotivatemyselftostudy

happy birthday , amanda

i'm lazy .

2010-06-12T12:54:00.002+08:00

I am too lazy to blog .
I WANT TO SLEEP .
I no longer love my template , i'm going to change .
I will use the new Template Designer by blogger .
I have finished The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole , aged 13 3/4 by Sue Townsend .
I think i should start studying for my PMR .
I wish i can stick to what i wished .
I am ending this blog post now .

i heart blogger .

2010-05-22T21:50:00.003+08:00

i love blogging a LOT !

you know what ? I don't know what .

i love picnik LOTS too .

checkoutmycoolheader.

i love that more .

2010-05-20T18:23:00.002+08:00

I just visited my old blog (survived for 2 years , 2007 - 2008 ) ! I like my old blog more . I think all posts in the blog is more mature . I find so many interesting "quotes" there . Read all the posts , only got 3 pages . By the way , the blog just revived . I just posted a new post . Feel free to read my old blog .

I'm gonna load these songs into my phone as soon as i get it :

Almost Lover
The More Boys I Meet
Replay
I Miss You
Baby
Brown Eyes
White Horse
Last Christmas
My Heart Will Go On
Lips of an Angel
Ice Cream
Take a Bow
Smile (:
The Climb
I'm Yours
So What
Hot 'n' Cold
Don't Matter
The Show
You're So Gay
All Star
What a Wonderful World
Right Round
Viva La Vida
1234
Welcome to My Life
Know Your Enemy
It Ends Tonight
A Little Too Not Over You
I Write Sins not Tragedies
Taking Back My Love
No Surprise
Heal The World
Thinking of You
Today was A Fairytale
You Belong With
Love Story
Fearless
Body Language
Check Yes Juliet
Rain

... and more .

gonna die of lack of music .

i can't wait to get my phone .

teacher , it's your day !

2010-05-16T14:35:00.003+08:00

Oh my ~~lovely goody~~ teacher , today is your day .

Aaaargh , i recited a poem today in BUBS . I think i did badly , but my cousin brother who is standard 3 this year said i did a great job . I think he's just trying to cheer me up . Overall , i'm better than the last time . and this the 3rd time i'm going up to the stage to speak .

it's too late to apologise ;

2010-05-15T18:58:00.003+08:00

It's okay for you not to feel sorry because KARMA does exist. it would be better if you feels so and return it back to me.

My phone to be ...

environmentally friendly phone.

Say hello to your future-to-be owner , Jia Sheng !

AAAARGH ! 105TH POST !

2010-05-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD FINALLY PAST 100 POSTS !

god damn freaking happy now.

i'm gonna eff the whole way through

2010-05-11T18:17:00.003+08:00

Okay first of all . I got back my effing internet . I changed my effing nice layout because there is something effing worng with the font. Eff the effing nice layout ! Now eff the effing Malay BI**H from 3 ANGGERIK , suraya and hasaini or something , who stole my effing phone . Now , I have to spend the effing money to buy an effing new phone . My post will be effing bad today because i'm in a rush and there are lots of eff .

I'm goona say 'Goodbye' to my effing reader now .

woah ! there is really a lot of eff in this post.

the world is changing and so are you

2010-04-08T19:16:00.005+08:00

too much thing happened at a time .

i felt so lost .

everyone's changing .

i don't know them anymore .

i wish this year had never come .

i dropped more tears this year than hearing my own laughter .

i don't know who i really am to you all now .

i thought i found the place where i fit in the best .

i want you guys back .

LIM KAR YEAN , YEOW WEI KEE , LEONG KAH YAN and TAN JIN LI !

i need you guys so badly now .

i can't trust anyone anymore besides you guys .

can't the others see that i'm faking a smile .

i wish you guys are by my side now .

keeping feelings in your heart all alone is the toughest thing on earth .

i'm not going to read the convo .

i don't want to know anything .

knowing nothing is the best thing for me now .

teacher , are you a virgin ?

2010-04-02T17:22:00.003+08:00

Joshua , asked teacher a really horrified question . He asked teacher :

"Are you a virgin ? "

I was like OMG after hearing that .

the mask that i'll be wearing .

Anyway , i'msofreakingexcited ! International Relation Day !!!!!! I can't wait any longer . Next Friday is I.R ! I'll be wearing my MASK ! and i have to duty , FOOD again . I was responsible for food in BUBS last week and next week I.R again and food again .

Oooh ooh Oooh ! Tomorrow is my taekwondo test and i don't know a shit about it . i think i'm gonna fail .

my post is super random today.

don't worry ,

2010-03-29T18:50:00.010+08:00

i wouldn't bother to read your blog.

chged layout.

edited alot.

won't be able to

find in blogskins.

rude , unfriendly equals stupid

2010-03-12T17:42:00.003+08:00

you know what ? i hate your stupid mentality , go to see a psychologist to see whether you got split personality or not ! you can be so good with a person and after that you can be so bad with another . just a simple question 'whose paper is that ?' and you say i am annoying. don't use the stupid tone to me and show me your stupid expression when you see me . i've been tolerating you for so long and even Ariff Faakir asked me to go scold you , i said no ! because i know it's not good to be rude to someone , especially when the person did not do any bad things to you . i've tried to be friendly and what do i get in the end ? a rude people speaking to me rudely !

I seriously think you are having SPLIT PERSONALITY !

no point in being smart when you can't even be good .

i wish to tell the whole how you really are , but i have good manners so don't worry .

I WON'T !

sympathy

2010-03-11T19:04:00.003+08:00

Sorry , MIN YI !

told you i will do it .

cannot find your picture .

没升级还好过被降级

stricked .

2010-03-04T19:08:00.003+08:00

it's nice sometimes to have a different point of view .

emotionally affected .

love this picture.

took it during cny.

confusing .

2010-02-28T22:17:00.002+08:00

nowadays words just couldn't express my feelings . I think i'm not as merry as i was last time .

probably i'm just a bit stress , tired ,worry and seriously , i'm feeling very emotional nowadays .

i don't feel ~~happy~~ when i'm laughing .

you are not very grateful too .

2010-02-20T14:23:00.002+08:00

rethink what you did for me and what i did for you .

mixed emotions .

2010-02-12T18:14:00.003+08:00

Hahaa . This week is a mixed emotions week .

Happy . Sad . Angry . Confused . Tired . Scare .

Lots of things happened .

My house got broke in by burglarrr .
I watched " WOOHOO " .
I laughed a lot .
Can't catch up with studies ; no idea what teacher is talking 'bout .
Sing almost everyday with my friends .
Can't get enough sleep .
Amazing adventure to TTC with Kum Chuan , Swee Sern and Kean Hong .
First bus trip with my friends .
Maid went home , did lots of chores .
New Year is here .
Got Promoted !
Fell in love with Taylor Swift once more .
Feels really awesome .
Hang out less with others friends . *feels bad*
Exam is near .
Long hour schooling .

God ,

I wish PMR will never come .

Thank you .

Too much pictures in blog .

Not gonna put anymore .

*for the time being*

Blek !

2010-02-05T17:39:00.003+08:00

Never thought that I would actually be chosen .

But .. ,

there will still be a second evaluation .

Anyway , i went to the orphanage today . It was AWESOME . Wei Kee did the dance . It was so damn freaking funny .

BORED .

2010-01-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

I was bored so i googled 'bored' . and i found this website : www.bored.com .

eat , eat , eat

2010-01-21T17:44:00.002+08:00

Agree .

Just another yar older .

2010-01-10T22:10:00.002+08:00

Another pretty sister birthday .

It was on the 8th of January .

posted late .

Anyway just another year older .